What Your Carry Gun Says About You

Tackleberry from the movie Police Academy. I think we all have a little Tackleberry in us.

Tackleberry from the movie “Police Academy.” I think we all have a little Tackleberry in us.

Guns are serious business, but every now and then it’s nice to have some fun with ourselves and laugh and joke.

So, like chain restaurants do with specialty burgers and house-made sandwiches, I’ve tried typecasting gun owners based on what guns they carry.

Yeah, it’s a bit sophomoric and yields us no greater insight into who we are as members of a gun-loving community.  But hey, I had a good time doing it, so, enjoy!

The Sympathizer — You don’t carry a firearm. Instead, your belief that all humans are essentially good mandates that you carry a less-lethal device like a Taser, a stun gun or maybe even pepper spray. Since even wayward souls can be redeemed, you want to take deadly force off the table.

The Minimalist — Just the bare bones for you. It’s a mouse gun, maybe a derringer or a Heizer Pocket AK. Either way, it’s nothing big, nothing fancy, but it is enough to get the job done.

The Average Joe — Pistols! Typically of the compact or subcompact variety. Maybe it’s a Glock 43, or Shield or and XD-S. Basically, insert your favorite polymer automatic.  Why stand out when you can fit in?

The Purist — God created the heavens and the earth.  Then, after some serious thought, he created the wheel gun. Ah yes, it doesn’t get much better than a five or six shot revolver. Always reliable, always there when you need it.

The Planner — You’re no one-trick pony. You have multiple carry guns, one for every imaginable situation. As such, you like to plan out what to carry where. Camping in Alaska? It’s the Ruger Super Redhawk.  Going for a jog? It’s a .380 ACP with a Crimson Trace laser. Sitting by the pool? It’s a Chiappa Rhino (why?  I have no idea. Rhinos must like pools).

The Exhibitionist — Handgun. Pshaw! No handgun for you!  You carry a long gun, and you carry it openly! Yes, part of it is designed to destigmatize the open carry of guns in your local community. But, let’s not kid ourselves, the other part is you like the attention. It’s not all about open-carry activism — is it?

The Perfectionist — Your carry gun is something that’s been worked, and re-worked 1,000 times over. It started off as a simple production pistol, but now, it is anything but.  It’s got a unicorn trigger, an unobtanium slide, quad-ambidextrous controls (meaning you can release the magazine and engage the safety in four different spots). I’m thinking a Salient Arms Hi-Point? Or Dynamic Pie Concepts?

The Cowboy — The Wild West has come and gone. Yet, you like to pay homage to our Western forebears by keeping their legacy alive with a single-action Colt on your hip, along with the requisite cartridge bandolier.  You want to put all the nearby rustlers, hooligans and outlaws on guard. You won’t tolerate their depredations.

The Old Breed — If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. John Moses Browning perfected the carry gun with the inception of the Model 1911. It’s survived an entire century of technological achievement — everything from the invention of the polymer pistol to the hype and bluster of the smart gun — and it’s still is every bit as attractive as the day it was born, and no one’s convincing you otherwise.

The Tackleberry — Heck, why carry one gun when you can carry several? As a Tackleberry, you carry a full-size primary firearm, a backup firearm and then a backup to your backup. You take preparation and personal self-defense to a whole new level.

The Compensator — To go along with your monster truck, mud tires, and muscle shirts, you carry a Taurus Judge or a Desert Eagle. Some say your compensating for something. We say you’re just badass.

Some notable additions from freelance writer Max Slowik:

The Soccer Mom Guard — Wallet, keys, cell phone, Beretta 92 and paddle holster. It’s not an everyday-carry piece until you’ve cleaned Froot Loops out of it. Why carry concealed when you can carry a real gun for the real world. Your EDC has destroyed more minivan seats than texting while driving and the finish has tan lines.

Tactical Timmy — You’ve shot every double-stack .45 ever made. Current carry rig includes an FNX-45 with a laser/light combo, mini red dot sight and extended, threaded barrel. Currently, you carry in a custom molded Kydex IWB holster, but you’ll transition to AIWB once you find a big-and-tall shop to make you special extra-high waistband pants — right now you think you print a little.

The Surprise Grandma — That little muff gun has been in your purse ever since your great-uncle’s best friend Thomas won it at the state fair…honey-eating contest I believe, that was more popular back then, and he was always a charmer — did you find the cough drops? Sometimes they get stuck under your flask.

***

Okay, your turn!  What can you add to the list?

{ 99 comments… add one }
  • EAM February 10, 2017, 11:43 pm

    Old School meets New School – CZ 75 Omega (’cause I’m a lefty) and 2 extra mags for a total of 49 rounds. Doesnt print because I’m 6’3″ 225, and honestly don’t care if it did. Five thousand rounds of whatever is cheapest at the range without a single failure.

  • Wally Michaels August 17, 2016, 5:35 pm

    “NEWBIE” – He or she has a brand new-in-the-box (fill-in-the-blank) pistol that they haven’t taken the time to shoot yet. Of course, he/she is an “expert” of all matters related to this firearm, as well as yours. They will tell you how inferior your gun is compared to theirs, and that your aim is a bit off too. For good measure, Mr./Ms. Newbie will brag about how little they paid for their new piece, and how you foolishly overpaid for yours.

  • Thomas June 4, 2016, 7:23 am

    The Provider. Having dinner with my wife and youngest son who was in law enforcement training. He asked was I carrying? I said it’s not if I am, but how many. Glock 35 in the shoulder rig. Glock 30 in ankle holster. S&W Shield 40 IWB and S&W .380 Bodyguard in the pocket of my sportscoat. All with 2 extra mags. He asked why so many? I said you and your mom may forget yours. He said you still have an extra. I said the guy at the next table may not have his!!!

  • IDPA2USPSA June 2, 2016, 6:39 pm

    You guys forgot two:
    1.) The Hickcopy45 – Carries what ever gun Hick0c45 has recently reviewed and liked. This is to insure they will have something to talk about that leads back to mindless YouTu3e banter.

    2.) The Raging Bull – Carries any Taurus firearm and will still tell you that it has never had any fte, ftf, drop safety issues and might be the best gun on the market for the price.

  • WeedWhacker June 2, 2016, 10:16 am

    My usual EDC is an M79 40mm under the right arm with two 8 round HE bandoleers over the shoulders for back up. The 79’s original trigger has been replaced with a single stage Geissele ‘drop in’ that has a pound and a half pull. Nice!
    I’ve hung two M18 Claymores on the front of my custom CrossBreed carry belt, with two more in the rear – and have the clicker in my left front pocket. Over all I wear a custom made navy blue Kevlar sport coat with ceramic and composite plates arranged just so – to cover everything just so. No printing for me! Can’t be too careful nowadays though, don’t want people thinking I’m overdoing it.
    There is one other thing to mention, it’s a Colt Navy SA somewhere on my person, but I forget where. Maybe it’s that lump up my sleeve?
    Now, on my off days, (usually just on Sundays for church, or lunch with a friend) it’s just the two MAC 10’s under the arms. Nothing fancy.

  • Dick Stratton May 29, 2016, 9:30 am

    When Browning designed the 1911 he built perfection, when Johnny Ray Rowland designed the 460 Rowland conversion he gave perfection the ballistics of a 44mag., And because I care enough to only send the best I load it with 185 gr JHP . Don’t know what category that puts me in but it will take down any thing I will ever need to shoot.

  • Damon May 29, 2016, 12:53 am

    The Hipster

    Carries a break top Webley in .455 because it’s “vintage” and “steampunk”. Likes the maintenance because he can multipurpose his beard oil. Only problem is the draw IWB from skinny jeans is murder.

  • Chris Baker May 28, 2016, 9:11 pm

    I must be a minimalist. I carry a Beretta 3032, Tomcat, in 32 ACP. I did splurge and get some hollow points for it. I keep it in my purse, er, man bag, unless of course I decide to just stick it in my pocket.

  • Stacy Cole May 28, 2016, 2:27 pm

    You forgot:
    Mr. Hollywood – The caste of NCIS carry Sigs, So do you. Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon) caries a Model 92 Beretta, so do you. Dirty Harry caries a S&W .44 Mag. So do you. (Good luck with THAT.) Hey, if its good enough for TV, its good enough for me.

  • Methane251 May 28, 2016, 8:45 am

    Springfield Armory Scout Squad 7.62×51/.308 in a paddle holster in the 3 o’clock position. 5 extra 20 round mags on the opposite side.
    I almost forgot… a really big trench coat.

  • bill kuhlmann May 28, 2016, 3:51 am

    ww2 1911 backed up by a commander backed up by a shield 45. 25 badass 230 grn jacked hollow points do make a statement.

  • Bradley May 27, 2016, 11:55 pm

    The Patriot s&w chrome 9 with the 15 round mag M1911 back up colt 45 just in case saga 12 gauge behind the seat ak sniper rifle on the hunting rack in cause you never know when you will have to defend someone or yourself plus it’s my dream team 😉

  • Joe P May 27, 2016, 11:14 pm

    The Clyde
    50 bmg with shortened stock and barrel on a sling under the arm and concealEd by overcoat. The whippet gun

    The lil AL
    A tompson in a case, just in case!

    Back road Bobby
    Yes kids, that’s a shotgun in the back window of that man’s truck. Chances are good there is a sawed off under the seat too, be courteous neighbor.

  • Bob Hilton May 27, 2016, 10:48 pm

    I’m an old engineer and retired air force. My exemplar is “Always Be Ready” I’ve been carrying hand guns for MANY years even before they made it legal but I always make sure my weapons were properly stored. I carry a 380 in my vette and a stainless 25 cal in my back pocket. I have 45’s and 380’s in my night stand and my office. Only one time did I need to show my hand gun (38police special). A conflict with two drunks throwing cans at my car ( my second 76 vette) they ran me off the road, they got out of their heap and has they approached I show them my revolver they left quickly. Don’t do be afraid to show you mean business.
    My favorite weapon is the 1938 30 cal M1 rifle. I have only fired it once. When I was in Korea I had a 45 side arm and a M2 carbine. I put A LOT of brass through the M2 and occasionally a 45 cal grease gun. Very seldom I used the side arm.

  • JoeUSooner May 27, 2016, 9:29 pm

    The Quiet Man
    John Wayne attitude. Everyday Carry (concealed only) a 4″ barrel XD Mod2 and two extra mags, all loaded with hollowpoints, to reinforce that attitude.

    • David Snyder May 28, 2016, 7:00 pm

      Sure , I carry a Glock 23 in a horizontal shoulder holster, a customized Ruger .45 ACP Commander in a Kydex pancake holster and a S&W Model 60 in an ankle holster – – – ALL stoked with Federal Hydra-shoks ! Did I mention the North American Arms .22 Magnum derringer in my belt buckle ?

      But when the proverbial feces hits the fan up close, the only thing that beats a 12 Gauge shotgun is TWO 12 Gauge shotguns !
      So I have a custom, shortened (but still LEGAL) Remington 870 in a vertical rack and a Franchi SPAS 12 secured under a blanket in my trunk …. next to its’ STAG AR-15 cousin. Yeah … I am armed.

  • DocMcG May 27, 2016, 9:02 pm

    Safety Sam (aka – DOA Dan): We all know “that guy” who carries on an empty chamber… Platforms vary.

  • Steve May 27, 2016, 8:29 pm

    “The reasonable human being who knows what he’s doing”: Glock 19, big dots, possible an extra mag in pocket holster. ‘Nuff said.

  • egeshegava May 27, 2016, 7:36 pm

    I’m of the Secret Agent C&C family. My name is “Bond” when I’m wearing, James Bond: PPK/S .32 Walthur’s. And mine is dead on at 25 yards: accurized!

  • Paul Strickland May 27, 2016, 6:07 pm

    Just Normal Guy — Sig P-320 Compact 9mm….. 15+1…..extra 15 rd mag on belt…..three extra mags in EDC bag (when needed)….total 76 rounds of Liberty Civil Defense ….I don’t need a back-up. Added Apex Trigger because it’s really cool and feels better. Added Fiber Optic / Night sight because I can see it better. Gun + Ammo….that pretty much covers it.

  • Ben There May 27, 2016, 5:24 pm

    The Jack of All Trades….. You carry a full size 9mm semi-auto, backed up by a 12ga. bull-pup, a semi-auto carbine and just in case, a custom .308 with a mil-dot scope zeroed @ 300 yards, in the trunk of your car or back of your SUV/Pick-up. Body armor, camo-wear and ballistic helmet are always optional.

  • FOX May 27, 2016, 4:12 pm

    RUGER P-95 9MM, DC 15, 30 AND 32 RDS OF REJECT ELIMINATION FOR MULTIPLE REJECT SITUATIONS!
    XD-45 13 RDS OF KNOCK’EM ON THEIR ASS, IF THEY AIN’T ALREADY WORMBAIT!

  • Douger May 27, 2016, 3:55 pm

    “Go Bother Somebody Else” – My brother has no interest in CCW handguns. He says if he feels he’s in a situation where he has to carry, he’ll throw his civilian Uzi carbine over his shoulder. He believes that most folks out for no good won’t mess with somebody carrying an Uzi. They’ll go bug somebody else….

    • Paul Strickland May 27, 2016, 5:53 pm

      GBSE……May have a point…..not my cup of tea mind you…..but a solid point none the less. BLACK GUNS MATTER

      • Notso May 27, 2016, 10:32 pm

        I spewed beer on my monitor when I read BLACK GUNS MATTER! They do, they really do.

    • Leonard May 28, 2016, 12:28 am

      Or, shoot him in the back, and take the uzi…

  • Humphry Slim May 27, 2016, 3:42 pm

    THE CALIFORNIAN — You own “well over” a dozen guns but can’t get a carry permit because you are not famous nor super rich. You visit the local gun store and find out that none of the new cool guns you see in the magazines are available in Calif. You want to vote pro-gun, but all of the politicians are anti-gun, so there is never anyone to vote for. You consider moving to another state but you would miss the nice weather, your friends, and your job. So you send donations to the various pro-gun groups and your EDC is just a knife. Just a knife. Probably should take a knife class.

    • James May 27, 2016, 4:44 pm

      This is so sad and so true – you described our California gun brothers & sisters perfectly.

      • Randall May 27, 2016, 11:14 pm

        Californian here. Just got my CCW. Far from wealthy. Not celebrity. Just no criminal background, treat LE with respect. Carry S&W SD9VE IWB, and S&W Shield 9mm ankle in OC. If I go to LA county, riverside or San Bern county. 1911 in belly band and Shield on ankle.

  • Jim Shaner May 27, 2016, 3:07 pm

    The Connie Sewer- I carry an HK P7m8 what is better? No plastic, small and thin

    • MF FANELLI May 27, 2016, 6:00 pm

      I don’t get the Connie Sewer but I think you carry one of the best pistols ever made. I wish I could afford one. Anything that beats out a Sig & a Walther is primo goods.

  • johnsxj May 27, 2016, 2:53 pm

    The Barney Fife: You’re basically a good person but that little bit of authority goes to your head. You open carry a .357 revolver but everyone makes you keep just one round in your shirt pocket (that regularly has to be replaced because you keep loosing it in the laundry).

  • Reinhardt May 27, 2016, 2:46 pm

    In keeping with the article, which was entertaining, I find I fit two categories, The Planner and The perfectionist. I have many gins and most of them are old, out of production models. I do prefer wheel guns and grew up with them, but there are different tools for different jobs. I usually carry either a Colt Agent, Colt Python 2 1/2″ , or a Detonics Mark IV (3 1/2″ 1911 clone). There are times when one of those three just aren’t the right choice. Essentially I am not concerned about carrying older guns and I have carried a Colt 1903, Berretta 34, CZ 27, and a Walther PP.
    As for the Perfectionist part, the three primary carry guns are, indeed, overworked. The Detonics has custom sights, beveled magazine well (all around), knurling on front and backstrap and on a squared trigger guard, long WW I trigger and a custom action that is probably too light for combat. The Python was done by Cylinder and Slide Shop. It has custom low profile sights, rounded butt with custom walnut grips, relieved trigger guard, ported barrel and an action as slick as any custom S & W. The Agent has little cosmetic change. It is the old slender barrel model and has a red insert fitted to the sight. The action has been worked to the quality of a custom target gun.

    • Donald Conner May 28, 2016, 7:14 pm

      You went to the right place In Fremont. I’ve dropped about $4K with him, and every penny was well spent. He guided me on what was best for my .45 Combat Elite, and now it would cost $3k to replace as is. Had the frame hard-chromed because the slide is harder than the frame. He made all the rest of the decisions. He’s the Master. I’m just student for 30 years. I’ve learned some things, but that knowledge base pales in comparisons to Bill’s. And if you are not going to take his advice, what are you doing there? Questions? Sure, and he doesn’t take a down his nose attitude either. He genuinely wants to teach you, not just take your money and tell you to shove off. Worked on both my S&W 629’s-the 5″ Classic and the shortened Mountain gun. Just enough off the end so the barrel ends where the ejector rod shroud meets the barrel. Fits in a from pocket with Spegel boot grips. Admittedly some recoil and muzzle flash, so what? 2 HKS speed loaders of Cor-bon 165 gr. hp’s from April to first snow, then 200 gr for heavier clothing. I don’t want over-penetration, living in an apartment complex in an urban area. So usually the Combat Elite rides in an Alessi inside the waist band holster with 2 or 3 McCormick 10 round extra’s in my left front pocket. If almost 30 or 40 rounds can’t solve the problem then I need a minigun, eh? And there is always the Springfield wide body 1911A1-a total of 3 mags of the Golden Sabre 230 gr (FBI – if it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me. I ain’t got that kind of money to do such expensive research, that is for certain) Both .45’s have night sights. So I guess I’m a bastard step-child ; a lot of Keith, a lot of Cooper, and a little technology. In closing, the best compliment I can pay Bill is that every single person who has shot the .44’s and the Elite has wanted to buy them right there, cash on the barrelhead. NO, no, no, I will not do that. My wife would kill me.

  • Bill McGraw May 27, 2016, 2:14 pm

    Two Beretta 21-A 22 RF, Stingers in one and hi-speed round nose in the other on me, S&W 649-1 38 WC ammo, knives, my walking stick, walker and wheel chair in the back seat; in the trunk a machete, Winchester M-1897 12 Ga 00 buck and slugs and a hidden Derringer 38 WC 2 shots for when all others are stolen or taken away.

  • GradyPhilpott May 27, 2016, 1:59 pm

    I guess I’m an Average Joe with a little bit of the Planner and the Exhibitionist in the mix. I usually carry a Glock 26, but have the option of carrying a G19, G17, Ruger GP100, Rossi M88, 1911A1, Ruger P89DC, Ruger PC9, or Ruger 10/22 or some combination thereof, so I guess we can throw in the Old Breed and the Tackleberry, should the need arise.

    I’ve got something for most scenarios, but I stick pretty much to the G19, the G26 and sometimes the G17, all carried concealed.

  • Frank Engle May 27, 2016, 1:56 pm

    The Cheap Ass wanabe
    Saw him walking into Best Buy with an open carry that he looked really proud of. It was a .25 Raven in a $6 canvas holster. Look at me! he thinks. I did, and knew right a way that he was so cheap that he probably didn’t shoot the POS anyway and was as likely to kill 6 witnesses as the one bad guy. I really hoped nothing went down while I bought a back-up. (Hard drive that is)

  • Ringo Lapua May 27, 2016, 1:53 pm

    You left out one. THE SILENT BUT DEADLY carry a CZ P107 9mm 3(1x 15 rd mag & 2x 19 rd mags) with trijicon night sights, tru-glo green low profile laser and AAC suppressor. Carried in an over the shoulder computer case. Back up gun is a North American Arms Black Widow 5 shot 22 magnum.

  • Dave May 27, 2016, 1:49 pm

    A .44 Automag I bought at a Sears store in Anchorage Alaska in 1974. Makes me feel like Mack Bolan in the Executioner in the book series.

  • shoobear May 27, 2016, 1:34 pm

    The Swiss Cheese: Sig 239 SAS. Flat enough to conceal. Dehorned so it won’t snag. Heavy enough to get follow-ups on target. Accurate and shoots to POA. Will go “bang” every time. Chambered in reasonably powerful (for a pistol) calibers. I realize these are now made in USA/Germany, but the intended target will still resemble Swiss Cheese. Limitation: it’s a single stack, so practice and make every round count.

  • Mr Magoo May 27, 2016, 1:17 pm

    Mr. Magoo:. He’s too vain to wear his glasses so he packs a PMR30. By the time he gets the last shot off something in the area is going to be dead. If you see him reach for it, run for cover.

  • Dave May 27, 2016, 12:57 pm

    Let’s tell the truth here.
    Everyone knows you carry a handgun so you can fight your way to a real weapon.

  • D-tiger May 27, 2016, 12:22 pm

    Judgement: Colt 45 Combat Commander loaded with Golden Saber ammo. Back up Walter PPK/S .22 loaded with CCI Stingers

  • bison1913 May 27, 2016, 12:10 pm

    I’m a bookkeeper… I carry a stinger pen… in .50 BMG caliber. LOL 🙂

  • Combat Watch May 27, 2016, 12:07 pm

    The Snob – Is a gun collector, works or worked in a gunshot and has seen, handked, owned and shot everything. The gun he carries is respected and proven but discontinued, rare or obscure and usually expensive (HK P7, Detonics, Bren 10, Colt Python, etc.). He states there are valid reasons for his choice (safe/reliable P7, Accurate/well made Detonics, Powerful Bren 10, reliable/excellent trigger Python) but the reality is he feels superior to Glock owners. His motto, carry a gun but why not the best.

  • Evlgreg May 27, 2016, 12:05 pm

    The James Bond – It’s not big but they still like to show it to people, especially women. Sometimes other men laugh at it. The gun they carry is something immortalized in fictional stories rather than real world results (Walther PPK?). They expect target accuracy and 1 shot stopping powers out of a 380ACP or 22LR retractable derringer and the gun is always in show condition, many times chrome or polished stainless or some anodized special color.

  • AK May 27, 2016, 11:18 am

    Add a (slightly) reworked, beat-to-s**t -looking Israeli surplus T-Series Browning hi-Power – Mepro sights, some new internals, grips, that’s it. FIST, inc, leather IWB holster. Outer profile almost unchanged.
    It’s true love….

  • Aly May 27, 2016, 11:12 am

    My Glock 42 in my Flashbang. Certainly changes the opinions of rude men when they are staring at my chest 😉 it does print slightly…

  • Pete May 27, 2016, 11:04 am

    The “Tacticalifer”
    (Similar to a few of the posts above)
    After a lifetime spent in the military … and another lifetime spent in law enforcement, old habits and routines are hard to let go of. You have spent so much time wearing a 35# duty-belt, pockets filled with more than any fashion designer ever thought you could stuff into them, and shirts that are one size too big because they were meant to be worn over your type-IIIa kevlar vest.
    Your idea of going “light” for EDC is a SIG P229 Elite with four spare mags, all wrapped in kydex. That’s not too strange, in itself … but when added to the rest of your “load” on your full leather trouser belt … a tactcal flashlight, a multi-tool, a combat/utility fixed-blade knife (or ANOTHER pouch with a large tactical folder) and a very full keyring (or 2) with a full-sized handcuff key hanging from a carbiner. This of course does not account for the “rest” of your EDC gear, which includes 2-4 more folding knives of various sizes and styles, cell phone, wallet (with hidden knife and spare cuff-key), loose change and a lighter (even though you don’t smoke).
    Back-up? Oh sure. The car/truck/SUV has a combat shotgun, tactical carbine and additional ammo.
    Like I said, old habits are hard to kick.

  • Erik May 27, 2016, 10:53 am

    My 22Mag finger nail trimmer. Fits in a #110 Buck knife case. For when some punk wants to make half my day…

  • r.l. May 27, 2016, 10:49 am

    I want to carry my Ruger super redhawk 44 magnum, but am having problems finding a proper shoulder rig.

    • AK May 27, 2016, 11:19 am

      Try El Paso Saddlery’s #200, with speed-loader pouches.

    • Mike May 27, 2016, 11:41 am

      I had a S&W 29 with 8-3/8ths” barrel with a Leopold scope in a custom made shoulder holster…my arm wasn’t long enough to draw the damn thing! But it was surprisingly accurate!

  • Steve G May 27, 2016, 10:49 am

    Great list and a good reminder for me to re-watch Dynamic Pie. The best.

  • Kevin May 27, 2016, 10:47 am

    Tactical Tom……camo pants, combat boots, dark shades (even at night), fatigue jacket, unbuttoned with no T-shirt of course and any big handgun with a under barrel rail. But no sissy flashlight or laser…..that tactical rail is for the bayonet.

  • Kenneth Myers May 27, 2016, 10:35 am

    The old school sophisticate: Either the P-08 Luger or the P-38 Walther.

  • Stan Burton May 27, 2016, 10:26 am

    The pragmatist, carries a used, but perfectly usable economy model of a major manufacturer’s duty weapon. Not flashy, not stainless or polymer, it is at least 40 years old, but functions just as well as the much more expensive duty weapon model. You picked it up second hand, cleaned the years of pocket lint out, reblued all the holster wear spots, greased and oiled it, and now it runs like a timex…

    • Hanlon Kitto May 27, 2016, 6:11 pm

      Its a beretta 85. Israeli surplus. As you mentioned, runs like a top 😄😄

  • BUH May 27, 2016, 10:20 am

    The “Democrat” you go around the country saying guns should be banned, but have a small army of guards with fully automatics around you 24 hrs. a day
    the “Obama” your a lying idiot who knows nothing, but say you are an expert on everything, you carry a .22 cal., but tell everyone its a 44 magnum, and you actually think it is, because you are too effing stupid to know.

    the “Hillary” you don’t tell anyone about your secret server gun, and you keep it in your crotch because that the one place nobody will look, not even bill. and all your dresses are stain free….until you stain them yourself.

  • 2lolo May 27, 2016, 10:10 am

    I carry small .22 auto. If I must shoot a Low-Life a .22 will do the job.!!!! Low-Life are Dumb, he will be No fared than 3 to 6 Feet Away….

    • Chris Baker May 28, 2016, 9:24 pm

      Hey, if you really want to got minimalist, carry something in 25 ACP. That’s so puny it should be in lower case letters.

  • Robert Young May 27, 2016, 9:56 am

    Ha, I enjoyed your list. It put a smile on my face to start the day. Thanks.

  • Chief May 27, 2016, 9:50 am

    “Heman”
    .50 AE Desert Eagle open carried .The women want you and the men wanna be you (at least in your on mind)Sporting the massive framed Desert Eagle you swagger with the confidence of John Wayne and the Limp of Festus .You have put a little money a side every week for the impending right hip operation that is coming due to the weight of the gun, but no matter .You are the cat daddy and everyone knows it .As you raise your mighty weapon into the air you yell ,”I am the power.” Then the alarm goes off and its time to wake up and go to work at the DMV.

    • Leonard May 28, 2016, 12:38 am

      I thought it was Chester who limped–not Festus. He had a whining, nasal voice, and always called the Marshall “Mister Dillon”…

  • Tom Horn May 27, 2016, 9:43 am

    The Glock-anator (say it like Arnold Schwarzenegger):
    They’ll carry anything, as long as it’s a Glock. If someone mentions a Ruger, Springfield, Sig, or S&W, they will purse their lips and go, “Pssssssst! Get a Glock.” They have Glock hats, tee shirts, tin sign, bumper sticker, mouse pad, and gun cleaning pad. I imagine they sleep in Glock pajamas, under their Glock sheets and bedspreads, and listen exclusively to glockenspiel music.

    I’m not saying their wrong, mind you. But you probably know, or are that person.

    • Segian May 27, 2016, 11:30 pm

      G17 MIC holster chambered. Shorts and t-shirt no extra mag 18 should be enough.

  • M.Dubay May 27, 2016, 9:31 am

    Love this list. But I feel like i don’t fit into any category here. I’m a lover of military surplus firearms and carry a FEG-PA 63 in 9mm mak. I have several friends who also carry some sort of surplus pistol. I guess the school of though on it is that I’ts better to buy a tried and proven military design than some fancy modern one. plus it’s usually cheaper.

    -Matt
    Saco,Maine

    • SovietRevolver May 27, 2016, 9:58 am

      Exactly! I’m probably closest to the purist on the list, but I’d be closer to a milsurp category.

  • Capt Oveur May 27, 2016, 9:23 am

    Didn’t Get The Memo
    AR Pistol with Suppreor with cross-slung single point sling stuffed down yoga pants

  • nick May 27, 2016, 9:09 am

    The “Doomed Preacher”– You DON’T carry at all, not EVEN Less-Lethal, because you believe the “Gun Nuts” are wrong and you’ll be able to “Reason” with your antagonist to the point of him or her throwing down their weapon, Giving you a BIG HUG, and FINALLY Seeing the Light in their lives. Amen!

  • Gmoney May 27, 2016, 9:07 am

    Knife.. I like my kills up close and personal.

  • exsfcpt May 27, 2016, 9:06 am

    THE OPERATOR

    You may have survived multiple tours to South-Western Asia as a combatant or most of your LEO career in the worst part of town (by choice). Everything is functional, broken in, and slicked out. The firearm can vary but is usually a Glock because they are somewhat lighter, very reliable, and virtually indestructible. You never print and it’s like a second skin. You are usually funny and able to elicit a laugh from most people however, behind the humor you have a tactical awareness of everyone around you at all times. You never intend to use your well worn firearm but if you do, those thousands of rounds fired will trigger a cascade of muscle memory and the three shots sound like one. The person on the floor should have noticed that you were different from the other sheeple.

  • Rich K. May 27, 2016, 9:04 am

    “The Cheapskate” – You carry the least expensive thing that will – in theory, at least – go bang more than once, and use cheap ammo in it besides. You’re proud of your inner penny-pinching Scotsman! Weapons of choice: Hi-Point, Cobra, Phoenix Arms, Jennings, Bryco…

    • Robin Miller May 27, 2016, 9:55 am

      That’s me! Hi-Point .380. Doesn’t impress anyone at the range and some say it’s ugly, but it shoots reliably. And “shoots reliably” is all I really care about.

  • BigTex May 27, 2016, 8:54 am

    Dirty Harry — .44 Magnum. Open carried…
    “Go ahead. Make my day.”

  • mocatz May 27, 2016, 8:52 am

    Where do people who carry AR15 pistols for EDC fit in?

    • Rich K. May 27, 2016, 9:04 am

      “Compensator”

  • Wayne Clark May 27, 2016, 8:33 am

    The Wheel-Deal;
    Be damned if it’s 96* in the shade, you’re wearing your tooled leather custom shoulder rig, with nothing less than a .357 magnum w/6″ bbl., w/545 grain flat-nose because who wants to stop short of it blowing a basketball sized hole when it exits, all hidden by that mohair sport coat w/jeans. Back up is a J frame, 3″ bbl, also .357, strapped to your ankle or behind the back IWB (holster optional). Two speed loaders in a custom belt holder & four speed strips…two each pocket.
    Just dare one of those carnival weight guessers try you out!

    • r.l. May 27, 2016, 10:43 am

      Where did you get your custom shoulder holster made from, roughly how much were you talking about spending. I to am looking for a shoulder rig, to carry a Ruger super redhawk 44 magnum.

      • Leonard May 28, 2016, 12:44 am

        If you like making some of your own stuff, Tandy Leather has books that have templates for cutting leather, and step-by-step instructions for almost any type of holster. I used their books and leather to make a double-shoulder holster rig for two large frame Dan Wessons I once owned. Got a lot of compliments at the range. It’s not difficult, and won’t cost nearly what a factory rig will.

  • Geo May 27, 2016, 8:32 am

    Sig 226 & 239 in 9mm; If they are good enough for USN Seals and aviators; they are good enough for me.

    • SgtJCJ May 27, 2016, 10:25 am

      That’s where I’m at. I was a wheel gun guy. Then I discovered Sig. I think it’s an addiction. I wish I could carry one of my 226s, or 220s, but they are a bit big for concealed. Instead, I choose the 239. Just as reliable and accurate, but significantly smaller. The 239 in .40 it is.

  • David May 27, 2016, 8:29 am

    Settler – DB9 in a modified MTR Backpocket because thats the only one that will fit in jeans back pocket that shoots over 2 rounds. Prefer .357 or larger – settle 9mm.

  • protaganis May 27, 2016, 7:43 am

    The Hi-Cap: By God, if the magazine don’t hold 20+ rounds, it ain’t worth carrying!
    Not to mention the 5 additional magazines fanned across your belt which can keep a bad guy pinned in placed with only moderate return fire, until the police arrive…

    • SCPistolero May 27, 2016, 8:40 am

      Very nice. You are today’s winner of the Internet.

  • ROCKIN RICK May 27, 2016, 7:39 am

    “Back in the day” I used to carry a fanny pack with only my cell phone, wallet and keys in it. Sort of waiting for some over zealous law enforcement person to challenge me on my right to carry. Sort of trying to get people to show their true colors. Was never challenged. To date I have not had reason to draw the weapon from my concealed carry in order to deal with some “dirt bag” and hope that I am never placed in that position. Not that I carry for any reason other than personal protection as there are some “snakes” who cannot leave a person alone.

  • Dave May 27, 2016, 7:15 am

    The Cavalier

    You sport an engraved Colt hammerless with ivory grips in a custom sharkskin holster. Perfect for a night out, or church on Sunday. You are a classy and refined gentleman, yet still prepared for the heathens if they rear their ugly head. “Life’s too short to carry an ugly gun”, your daddy always said…

  • Jackpine May 27, 2016, 6:45 am

    The Metro Tacticoolster:
    It’s all about the look. A carry vest, 5.11 pants, tactical boots and then some sunglasses du jour should get you there. Maybe an H&K or similar ballcap.

    Actual carry weapon can vary.

  • REM1875 May 27, 2016, 6:43 am

    When I bought my 45-70 BFR 7 1/2 inch bbl the people at Cabela’s wanted to know what I bought it for, With everything I could muster I said with a straight face “Home Defense” and they said no, really why? and I repeated ‘home defense’ and left the store. I still can not find a decent ankle holster for it.

  • Ron Stidham May 27, 2016, 6:42 am

    Crowd Pleaser, Full size 1911/your choice of make, stainless/black/blue, or any other color that is appropriate. the single stack with back up mags never seem not to satisfy. Your will earn the trust, envy of the entire male populace. Wemon think its sexy, they want one also, its just allitle big to hide in spandex.

  • John Seppanen May 27, 2016, 6:15 am

    average joe/planner

  • Tyler May 27, 2016, 5:57 am

    The Up Close and Personal:
    You prefer a more traditional approach to defending yourself. Who needs a gun when you’ve got your trusty Ka bar by your side, she’ll never run out of ammo and she’s useful for so much more than a simple pistol. And you have to tell yourself that every day cause friggin NY won’t issue you a carry concealed. REPEAL THE SAFE ACT.

  • badon May 27, 2016, 4:50 am

    The Joker:

    Pistol form-factor, rifle-length barrel. Perfectly suited for anti-aircraft duties. Extra barrels optional (Thompson Contender).

  • norman May 27, 2016, 3:41 am

    Cautious me: a good 9mm compact of any of several brands-hollow points for stopping power. That’s it.

  • Randal May 27, 2016, 3:34 am

    Fanny pack Freddy- Inevitably you are fluffy pale and rock black socks with your sandals. Completely unassuming, you look like a Grandpa on vacation. But do not let his appearance fool you. Inside that
    Disney 2011 fanny pack lurks a
    Ruger LCP just waiting to be unleashed.

    • SCPistolero May 27, 2016, 8:42 am

      Funny…!.

  • Martin May 26, 2016, 4:36 pm

    The Dirty Harry Wannabe :
    You carry a S&W model 29 8 inch with 3 speed loaders because Harry was once caught with only 2 by a bad guy. Also even though Harry was 6’4″ tall and you are only 5’10” (in lifts) you don’t let that stop you. You pull up your pants to Erkle heights and stuff the excess barrel inside.

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