‘Gunsticles’ are Tactical Testicles for Your Black Rifle

Gunsticles, tactical testicles for your black rifles.

Your black rifle has every cool accessory on the market, right?  Wrong!!!

Unless you have a pair of Gunsticles, you ain’t got nuttin.’  We live in Murica.  The land of the free and the home of we’ll put a boot in your ass!  Time to step your game up!

What are Gunsticles?  Well, you’ve heard of truck nuts, right?  Basically, it’s the same principle.  Like when you initially thought your Ford Raptor was all boss with the custom paint job and matching red leather seats but you knew deep down inside something was still missing, that you had reached the proverbial 10 but to kick up to an unassailable 11 you had to go the extra mile so you slapped on a pair of balls under your oversized tow hitch and — Yahtzee! — true boss status was reached.

Gunsticles start at $19.95.

Yeah.  That’s what Gunsticles are.  The cherry on top of the sundae.  The gust of wind that pushes you over the cliff.  The enviable accessory that allows you to reach 11.

Anthony Melis, the inventor of Gunsticles, talked about the inspiration behind his product.

“Honestly one day I was just looking through some pictures on the internet of cool guns and thought, these guns are awesome but they are just missing a great set of big, beautiful balls,” Melis said in an email to GunsAmerica. “A rifle barrel certainly looks a bit phallic, so it’s only natural to drape some beautiful nuts under it!”

You might be asking yourself, is this dude for real?  The answer is yes.  Gunsticles are for real.

“I have taken the product very seriously from the start. I treated it like it was a real tactical accessory,” he said.  “Lots of thought went into the actual sculpting of the balls, the materials to use, the SolidWorks design of the rail attachment, etc.”

Colors are Tactical Black and Dark Earth. Pictured above are the Dark Earth Gunsticles.

“I really intend people to put these on their guns and display them proudly,” Melis continued.

Gunsticles can be mounted to your Picatinny or Weaver rail.  But Melis cautioned about operating your firearm with the balls attached.

“Our lawyers tell us not to encourage people to fire the weapons with them attached, so I can’t advise doing that. But I really want people to take them out of the box, put them on their guns, and show their friends,” said Melis.

Currently, Gunsticles come in two colors: Dark Earth and Tactical Black.  Melis says that a pink pair is in the works for Breast Cancer Awareness Month this fall.

Shipping on these gun nuts is free.  Pricing starts and $19.95.  But the more you buy, the cheaper they are.

“A great gift for dads, grads, and soldiers and we will happily ship to APO and FPO addresses! I hope our glorious rifle mounted balls will bring a smile to the face of a warfighter on some distant continent. That’s my American Dream,” said Melis.

Pick up your pair of Gunsticles today by visiting Gunsticles.com.

{ 59 comments… add one }
  • DaveGinOly May 15, 2017, 8:27 pm

    I had to check, but was then disappointed to see that the article’s date is not April 1.

  • Jack Keller May 13, 2017, 5:22 pm

    Another childish moronic thing to make gun owners look like the dirt bags the anti gunners think we are. Grow up or at least find a new hobby nobody need another fool like this selling this garbage.

  • Oliver Swartz May 13, 2017, 5:12 pm

    Perfect accessory for gay gun “nuts”!
    Or Metrosexuals trying to prove they have a pair.

  • Brad Dawson May 13, 2017, 2:13 pm

    Stupidity has reached a whole new level. Nothing like taking your young daughter to the range and seeing and insecure dude with his “sack” hanging off his AR!

  • Oliver May 13, 2017, 8:50 am

    What the actual f*ck?!

  • DrThunder88 May 13, 2017, 4:51 am

    It’s unsafe because of the potential for malfunctions. I totally lock up with even a light hit to my sack. Can’t imagine how an AR would react to it!

    I don’t see the appeal of putting scrota on things. Somehow having nuts makes it MORE desirable to guys? Ostensibly straight guys? Whatever stiffens your barrel, I suppose.

  • John Taylor May 12, 2017, 6:33 pm

    If you don’t have a pair, buy em, just ask the wife first. Another accessory for Tactical Timmies.

  • Mike Watkins May 12, 2017, 4:38 pm

    Thinking about Photoshopping the pic of these tactical testicles onto the chin of that congresswoman who wants “smart” technology on all handguns.

  • Tattoocarl69 May 12, 2017, 4:26 pm

    If you think this is something, check out http://www.thetacsac.com

    • Ron May 13, 2017, 12:35 pm

      Not much difference, is there? The weenies will still be offended, because they don’t get the joke, or else they don’t have $20 to throw away…

  • Larry Brickey May 12, 2017, 3:28 pm

    Just like those on vehicles, this is idiotic. It’s a pathetic “look at me, I’m a real man” statement for those adult sized children.

    • JC May 12, 2017, 4:43 pm

      This is beyond stupid!!! Why would I ruin a badass gun with that shit? I wouldn’t even ruin a truck with those.

  • D Day Dog May 12, 2017, 1:20 pm

    LOL Okay… I give it points for being funny. But the funny runs out 10 seconds after you put it on your rifle. After that, they advise that you do not shoot your rifle with it mounted, so it comes off and there is no longer anything funny about it as it sits on your shooting table. Pretty much amounts to you spending $20 so you can place it on your rifle and get a laugh out of it with your shooting buddies, then it’s done. I can make my shooting buddies laugh enough with my bad grouping. Not for me, but kudos for the guy being a true capitalist and trying to make a buck. As it “relates” to firearms (yeah yeah), I got no problem with GA doing an article on it, but I personally would not have endorsed it if I were the author.

    • You make a good point. May 15, 2017, 9:16 am

      Must have been paid review.

  • Kurt Eskildsen May 12, 2017, 1:03 pm

    Those are just about as ridiculous a thing that I’ve ever seen, on par with trucksticles. There is the target demographic for these stupid things. The same immature fools that attach a set of nards to their vehicle. I noticed that the equally stupid testicle foregrip that was going around a while back have mostly disappeared. These will too.

  • Alan May 12, 2017, 12:04 pm

    I am constantly amazed at the number of readers here without a sense of humor, and unable to comprehend ‘Tongue in cheek’ Journalism.
    It’s GA’s job to report, not to censor.
    Some here have a stick up where the sun don’t shine.

    • Oaf May 12, 2017, 1:02 pm

      Amen brother, some here take themselves waaay too seriously!

    • Ron May 12, 2017, 4:15 pm

      Agree completely. I won’t be buying, nor mounting, any, but those with a sense of humor I forwarded this to got a laugh out of it.
      Other guys? Lighten up. Yes, they’re dumb, but so is taking yourself too seriously.
      It’s a joke… Laugh, or don’t, and move on.

  • parker May 12, 2017, 11:23 am

    what do you expect from a writer who cannot properly pronounce “America”. this must be some kind of rap crap expression that is supposed to be cool. if your going to write for a living grow up and get a dictionary. i find your slang for “America” offensive. yes, i’m a disabled vet (1969) and very proud of this country.,if you cannot speak our language properly, your in the wrong business.

    • Dewey May 12, 2017, 5:28 pm

      I guess speaking “Murican is more important than spelling. It is you’re, not your. The proper noun I is always capitalized.

  • steven mart May 12, 2017, 11:16 am

    I just love this. Finally get to see who’s just so into it they don’t have any sense of humor left at all. This is really funny stuff. Pink ones coming soon for breast cancer awareness month….. Love it!

  • parker May 12, 2017, 11:16 am

    what do you expect from a writer who cannot properly pronounce “America”. this must be some kind of rap crap expression that is supposed to be cool. if your going to write for a living grow up and get a dictionary. i find your slang for “America” offensive. yes, i’m a dissabled vet (1969), and if you can’t properly speak our language, get another job.

    • Dewey May 12, 2017, 5:40 pm

      Disabled has only one s, missed that last time around.

      • Rooster June 26, 2017, 7:29 am

        Double diss,

  • mblack May 12, 2017, 11:15 am

    If I ever see that on someone’s rifle, I will know to avoid that person and never shoot near them.

  • luis perez May 12, 2017, 11:00 am

    Well for all those feminists out there, if there were to make a pair of big boobs, or better yet how about a lower receiver milled into a pair of DD, you know, something to give them to hold on to when the SHTF! Yes this is pretty pathetic!

  • Mark May 12, 2017, 9:47 am

    I am THIS close…to ‘trashing’ GA over crap like this. Yeah, and “I” have ba GREAT sense of humor too, BUT this is just stupidity…

    • American USMC May 12, 2017, 10:35 am

      Well said and I agree Mark No active or former military ( that I know ) would want this.

      • Harold Littell May 12, 2017, 10:44 am

        Roger that, use the money to buy ammo.

      • Todd May 12, 2017, 11:31 am

        Absolutely! What a ridiculous product and I’m saddened that GA would see fit to endorse it even if only by dissemination. And by the way, that word is in reference to spreading knowledge of the product and not in reference to a spermicidal – much as I do like puns and such.

        Todd.

    • mark a fischer May 12, 2017, 10:55 am

      i couldn’t agree more, is this really necessary???

  • Mahatma Muhjesbude May 12, 2017, 9:36 am

    With all the caustic invectives here for just a novelty item similar to the ‘brass balls’ hanging from Red
    neck pick up trucks you see down South a lot, this gives new meaning to the term being ‘blackballed’, LOL!

  • Chet Hribal May 12, 2017, 9:36 am

    Next they’ll offer a hollowed out Dong that you can slip over your barrel to give it that realistic look.

    • Big Jim May 12, 2017, 10:09 am

      That will probably be a flash hider shaped like just the tip.

    • Thad May 12, 2017, 1:48 pm

      That project was in the works but they shelved it to make a pistol grip first. I’m sure the muzzle “devices” are sure to follow though.

  • Dewey May 12, 2017, 9:30 am

    Yet another example of gun owners being their own worst enemy. Grow up.

    • rt66paul May 12, 2017, 10:05 am

      That would give even more ammo to the “cocks for glocks” crowd

    • Norm Fishler May 12, 2017, 10:06 am

      Thank you Dewy; couldn’t have said it better.

  • The Bear May 12, 2017, 9:23 am

    I thought this was a joke but now just think it is pathetic.
    Equating the responsible ownership and bearing of instrumentals of lethal force with your balls is crude and only plays into the hideous caricatures of gun owners already out there.
    I understand and support gun owners frustration and impatience with gun abolishonists but this lame display of testosterone infused masculinity in this immature way makes way too many people convinced that you are not to be trusted with guns. So leave this product on the shelf and keep your balls in your pants. Grow up

  • joefoam May 12, 2017, 9:02 am

    This is the kind of thing that gives gun owners a bad name

  • Joe May 12, 2017, 9:01 am

    Only an idiot would even write an article about this. Why don’t you just donate to the antigun liberals. You make their case for them.

  • BigC May 12, 2017, 8:47 am

    Another perfect example of the stupidity of the American consumer…..if you needed another one after seeing the number of Hellary voters!!

  • Tom W May 12, 2017, 7:33 am

    Wouldn’t need these because I shoot 7.62. But for all you 5.56 shooters out there, it’s a way the give your pea shooter a little more nut.

    • Earl May 12, 2017, 9:29 am

      I wouldn’t waste my time or money on this crap but you should step up and agree to take one of those pea shooters to the face.. You know, cuz you got the nuts for that.

  • John H Baumgaertner May 12, 2017, 7:33 am

    These’ll be a legitimate hit with the tactical airsoft crowd.

  • Rob May 12, 2017, 6:25 am

    This is crude. I’m unsubscribing.

    • MORon May 12, 2017, 4:17 pm

      Bye! Get a life, and a sense of humor…

  • CW May 12, 2017, 6:16 am

    Really? How Freaking Stupid, “tactical”? But must be removed from gun for safe use! Another person who can’t come up with an original idea, and simply makes a few changes to someone else’s idea. And while I’m on my soapbox, let’s go ahead and make something to put on a firearm that can effectively make it unsafe! If you own an AR-15 or similar firearm, just for the sake of being “cool” you need to grow up. Move out of your parents house, get a job, and get a life.

    • Tom May 12, 2017, 8:44 am

      I am not impressed with the tactical testicles, however your derogatory comment aimed at AR owners is a low blow that shows your ignorance. The AR platform has proven itself to be the most popular and adaptable rifle ever. I can see the hard core purists looking down their noses at such a modern platform, however I became a fan of the lightweight fast handling accurate rifles when I built my first 300 Blackout and used it on both deer and turkey here in Florida. 130 grain hollow points are very effective for me. YMMV however don’t knock something so hard when it is highly unlikely you have even given it a proper field test.

  • Keith May 12, 2017, 5:40 am

    This is really, really lame and stupid.

  • Milford May 12, 2017, 5:30 am

    I like to think I’m open minded when it comes to individual expression and firearm accessories, but if this isn’t satire, it’s a potential boon for Mike Bloomberg and his ilk who continue to paint forearm owners as infantile, sexually frustrated, and mentally underdeveloped.

    If this is to troll them, then it’s like stepping on a rake, offering proof for every bigoted slur they keep repeating about gun owners and enthusiasts.

  • Will Drider May 12, 2017, 12:21 am

    Its probably here for comic relief. The gun grabbers that toss phallic symbolism in their arguements are going to jump on this.
    Surely some law abiding peson will write ATF concerning the legality of mounting gunsticles on the forend of a AR 15 pistol. Does holding the balls with your support hand while firing the pistol constitute “making” a NFA AOW (installed forward verticle grip) or is it just fondling?

    Please forward a copy of your ATF response letter here C/O S.H. Blannelberry.

    • Lloyd Dumas May 12, 2017, 6:10 am

      What if I squeeze them too tight, will my gun still work or will the screaming from it scare off my attackers.

  • Hank May 11, 2017, 12:50 pm

    The ultimate vertical foregrip for female shooters. Helps control muzzle rise just like on their husband or boyfriend.

    • WEDGE May 12, 2017, 8:47 am

      No doubt they’ll keep them in their purse until asked for.

  • SuperG May 11, 2017, 11:00 am

    Could not find anything better to use a filler for your web site guys? So sad.

  • randy May 10, 2017, 6:16 pm

    please tell me this is a joke before I delete your website from my “favorites”

  • Mike May 10, 2017, 4:17 pm

    Looks like the “Ultimate mall ninja tactical rifle” video needs to be updated- Add a few of these then re-shoot the video please.

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