Carve Your Pumpkin Like A Man!

Authors Clay Martin Columns
Carve Your Pumpkin Like A Man!

In what was a Goldilocks approach, Clay finally found the right tool for the job.  A Springfield Range Officer chambered in 9mm.  The .45 Range Officer proved to be a lot too much.

As Halloween approaches, those of us now domesticated will no doubt at some point be tasked with carving a jack-o’-lantern. No reason not to perform this task in as manly a manner as possible.

Using just a Cold Steel Kukri, a 12 gauge SKO from Standard Manufacturing, a Springfield Range Officer chambered in 9mm, and some glow sticks, this week I will show you just how to get it done.

SEE ALSO: Meet Clay’s Favorite Target: The BC-C Zone from MGM

Before anyone asks, let me preemptively answer the questions. Of course I didn’t almost cut one of my fingers off with said Kukri, I always wear duct tape on my left hand when I shoot. It’s what all the operators are doing these days.

Yes, we wanted to shoot two versions of this one video.  The mics not working at the range in the Kung Fu Voiceover version was completely by design.

Anyway, pack your range bag, stop by your local pumpkin patch, and get ready to get some. And should anyone gives you guff about it being overkill?  Tell them the practical advantage of having a pumpkin carved by flying lead, it’s a good deterrent against having your house toilet papered by the neighborhood hoodlums. Enjoy.

Shop for some new pumpkin carving tools on GunsAmerica.  

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  • Mike H. October 29, 2017, 4:01 pm

    That ain’t nothing new Bubba. I was doing that 30 years ago with my muzzleloader. Looks like You’ve been eating plenty of punkin pies!

  • Jacob Zadorski October 28, 2017, 9:38 am

    Great videos, and a fun video for the holiday forsure……but Clay man, you gotta do something about that gut brotha! You gotta get back on the CARDIO horse man!!!

  • ShotgunnerZero October 27, 2017, 9:32 am

    Great video, fun to watch. .45 acp…what a hoot!!!

  • joefoam October 27, 2017, 8:26 am

    My daughter was given a sharp carving knife in second grade to carve a pumpkin. She nearly cut off her little finger with it and had to go through surgeries and intense physical therapy. She still doesn’t have full function of that digit. It appears its safer to use the method shown in this video. Maybe we should alert the anti gun crowd so they can start a movement to ban carving knives.

  • Jonny5 October 27, 2017, 5:10 am

    Clay, notwithstanding your innovative approach to pumpkin carving, how do you propose residents of the UK may approach this task? I may use a sharp knife and a spoon as usual.

    • Fred October 27, 2017, 10:06 am

      Move to the colonies…

    • clay martin October 27, 2017, 10:47 am

      Cricket bat and a chisel? I suppose a sword would also be heritage correct?

      Unless you live in London. Then apparently you have to use acid.

  • Blue Dog October 26, 2017, 4:38 pm

    I did almost cut the index finger off my right hand about 10 years ago trying to take the fight out of a live turkey. I have a pretty good scar on that finger and had I not been wearing leather gloves, I might be short one finger on my right hand.

    • Blue Dog October 27, 2017, 8:52 am

      *with a kukri. I almost cut my finger off with a kukri. That is why it is worth mentioning here.

      • Fred October 27, 2017, 10:06 am

        Almost? You are not using the Kukri properly…

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