Jon Stewart on Buying ARs: ‘It’s Harder to Adopt a Cat’

Jon Stewart at the Hulu Theater in Madison Square Garden. (Photo: Brad Barket/Invision/AP)

Comedian Jon Stewart made a joke this week about purchasing AR-15s.

Before a crowd of veterans attending the “Stand Up for Heroes” benefit at the Hulu Theater in Madison Square Garden, Stewart launched into a bit about the relative ease at which one can purchase America’s most popular rifle.

After filling out an application and waiting two weeks, “they called to schedule a home visit to make sure the environment was going to be appropriate,” Stewart said, as reported by USA Today. “You know what? Never mind, sorry. I tried to adopt a cat. I got an AR-15 in three minutes online. It’s harder to adopt a (expletive) cat than to get an AR-15. What is wrong with us?”

Stewart also lambasted the inaction on gun control following the recent shooting at a Pittsburgh synagogue.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do, man,” Stewart said. “Remember after the shooting? You know, not the one two weeks ago or the one two weeks before that. And not the one three days ago. Anyway, we’re not going to (expletive) do anything. I don’t understand why we’re not doing anything.

“If other people kill us, we will make (soldiers) go to their place forever. That’s basically how Americans learn geography now,” he added. “But if we kill each other, we do nothing.”

SEE ALSO: Father Hailed as Hero After Fatally Shooting Gunman at Alabama McDonald’s

Buried in that punchline is the real solution to mass killings. Stewart’s just too blind to see it. Si vis pacem, para bellum. Translation: If you want peace, prepare for war.

The reason why we put boots on the ground in a foreign land when we’re attacked is to confront the next attacker before they have the opportunity to take innocent lives.

The same philosophy should apply to homegrown mass killers, albeit in a civilian-driven capacity. End gun-free zones. Empower citizens to take responsibility for their personal safety by, among other things, exercising their 2A rights. And you’ve effectively put an end to soft targets.

Will mass killers continue to crop up from time to time? Sure. Because there’s no way to vanquish crazy altogether. But instead of reading stories where almost a dozen unarmed people are killed at a place of worship, we’ll start reading more stories highlighting people like that heroic concealed carrier who fatally shot a crazed gunman at a McDonald’s in Alabama last month, likely saving the lives of everyone inside the restaurant.

Trust me, Jon. We want to do something — we want to actually address this problem. We just need you and all your anti-gun pals to get the hell outta our way.

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About the author: S.H. Blannelberry is the News Editor of GunsAmerica.

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  • mtman2 January 7, 2020, 6:07 pm

    The citified people divorced from the real natural wild + rural world need to connect with the REAL people that produce everything they take for granted from the real world.
    1) aggregate for concrete+blacktop
    2) trees for lumber, furniture+paper
    3) mining energy oil, coal + gas
    4) farmer/ranchers for foods
    5) fishermen for seafood
    EVERYTHING they have + need comes from the Earth + by these people who procure it for them to be able to live isolated + insolated from it all in an artificial city reality.

    Problem is as with the wise Founders giving us the Electoral College to include the rural providers for the population centers to fairly elect a president;

    – we need to have similar *relief* to include State elections to not allow the now mega populated cities from dictating to 95+% of the rest of that state in all manner of tyranny’s as to how they must live.

    i.e. = cities should govern only cities not the 95+% areas where the real people live outside mega cities…

    How could that be right in anyway for they are sequestered + secluded in concrete + blacktop jungles provided for by the real people on the land THEY live on, in + from and need to “rule” themselves…

    -> Something must change for the mega population centers have become detached and out of touch yet control “WE the People” they never see + do not know…and now are called “deplorable’s”……..

  • Alan Robinson November 11, 2018, 9:54 am

    Well Jon, if your claim is correct, then I hope you get a visit from the BATFE.
    Have fun with that one, those guys don’t have a sense of humor.

  • H Gene Lawrence November 9, 2018, 2:17 pm

    Adopting a cat is not one of protected “Rights” in the Constitution. Get a grip Liberals.

  • Kohack November 9, 2018, 2:10 pm

    How can anyone watch his anti American rhetroric, let alone pay to see it. And he is full of it, we adopted a cat in about 15 min. Any place that makes me jump through hoops to adopt a dog or cat can forget it.

  • FirstStateMark November 9, 2018, 1:05 pm

    Would you expect anything different from a left wing progressive liberal? I wouldn’t.

  • Andy November 9, 2018, 12:12 pm

    It should be, cats are emissaries of Satan and steal infants souls. Also, there is no constitutional right to bear a cat so……

    • Beff November 11, 2018, 8:32 am

      As a cat owner, I DO own Satan’s son! Thanks for the chuckle, Andy!

  • Richard Garcia November 9, 2018, 11:11 am

    John Stewart is a really funny guy and a dumb one as well. This left wing hand job really has one goal, work on the 2nd Amendment so they can change the rest, this has always been the issue behind the Socialist/Communist DemocRAT Party… the AR-15 and high cap magazine game plan, they need to delude the rights of the people to change what they call an outdated Constitution. Let’s face it, most these so-called entertainers live outside the real life of the 8 to5 people and it’s obvious by the ridiculous remarks he makes in his political stand-up comedy, the whole time whoring for the elitist left. Personally, I am not sure why he’s not wearing an Antifa Halloween costume while he’s on stage. Last, the moron might check the law(s) surrounding buying an AR-15 in NY or anywhere for that matter, before shooting off his mouth like he’s an expert.

  • Joe November 9, 2018, 11:00 am

    Mandatory background checks and 9-month waiting period for abortions!

    We need to eliminate the Plan Parenthood loophole.

    It’s easier to get an abortion than a Big Mac.

    Ban assault abortions

    • krinkov545 November 9, 2018, 5:00 pm

      Every abortion is a innocent life lost.
      Jon steward is a total clueless lying assbag.

      • mtman2 January 7, 2020, 6:17 pm

        That’s what results from Athiest Marxist’s = spawned, financed + owned by the Globalist bankster overlords of our monetary system, the UN and unconstitutional DC-deep-state fed agencies run by unelected [politically appointed] bureauc-RATS who laugh at the public + office holders alike yet rule us with unaccountability -so far.

  • D . J . November 9, 2018, 10:47 am

    Mr. Stewart spouting disingenuous bilge in front
    of Veterans of this sort , I believe is a new low for
    even the neocommunists.
    ” The ends , justify the means ” , correct ?

  • Ziggy November 9, 2018, 9:40 am

    I don’t know what John Stewart is smoking but the last time I checked, you cannot buy an AR (or any firearm) “on line” and in New York State (to say nothing of New York City) you cannot buy an AR anywhere (legally). Not on line, not from a gun store, not at a gun show, not even if Jesus himself comes down in clouds of glory with an AR for sale.

  • MJB November 9, 2018, 9:16 am

    Let\’s just ban all guns so the law abiding will have no means of protection and all the criminals who are not law abiding end up with all guns. That is the scenario idiots like Stewart want and it just played out in CA. Kids with no concealed firearms were at the mercy of some deranged nutcase. They had no protection. What if only 2 people in there had a concealed firearm how many would have died? Maybe just the criminal nutcase. No more blaming guns, start blaming people that abuse the privilege.

  • MJB November 9, 2018, 9:15 am

    Let’s just ban all guns so the law abiding will have no means of protection and all the criminals who are not law abiding end up with all guns. That is the scenario idiots like Stewart want and it just played out in CA. Kids with no concealed firearms were at the mercy of some deranged nutcase. They had no protection. What if only 2 people in there had a concealed firearm how many would have died? Maybe just the criminal nutcase. No more blaming guns, start blaming people that abuse the privilege.

  • Frank Moreno November 9, 2018, 9:11 am

    John stewert is a friggn cheap pimp who belongs in an even cheaper brothel in new orleans…

  • mike November 9, 2018, 9:02 am

    K.I.S.S. there Jonny Boy—–NOW that the DEMMOCOMMIES have the House, they NEED to pass a NEW LAW that makes it SPECIFICALLY ILLEGAL to SHOOT many people at the SAME TIME IN THE SAME PLACE. How about no more than say TWO at a time, (THREE under “Aggravated Circumstances). SEE? SIMPLE. PROBLEM SOLVED! It’s a GOOD thing we have REAL THINKERS like YOU and your KIND, (of SHITHEAD), asking society the tough questions you know?
    Ok, now that THAT is taken care of, let’s move on to “WHAT TO DO WITH FAKE BOMB MAILERS?”

  • TJ November 9, 2018, 7:53 am

    Show me your statistics on your uninformed statement.
    If you can’t then troll another site.

  • Joshua Thomas November 9, 2018, 7:42 am

    As long as employers are allowed to fire people for carrying guns in the workplace. Their will always be shooting galleries for the mentally impaired.

  • Jay November 9, 2018, 7:31 am

    No mention that owning a Rifle or any other form of a Firearm is Constitutionally protected ownership of an inanimate object! Cat ownership or more correctly stated, guardianship, is a privileged and that your directly responsible for another life, albeit an animal! Living things have rights even the human animal that must be protected and looked out for by the animal highest on the chain, us!

  • Sean Carberry November 9, 2018, 7:20 am

    …no matter how many times it is said, banning/restricting guns for people that follow the law isn’t going to stop bad people from getting guns. It’s going to make it more difficult for law abiding citizens to protect themselves.

  • GW November 9, 2018, 4:28 am

    If you think “addressing the problem” means arming everyone, you are sadly mistaken. Too many people, with too many guns, and too much adrenaline equals too many fatal mistakes. And before anybody gets butthurt about it, I am a law abiding gun owner who cherishes my 2A rights.

    • shrugger November 9, 2018, 7:29 am

      No you’re not.

    • Rick November 9, 2018, 7:47 am

      GW: do you also cherish _other people’s_ Second Amendment rights?

    • joefoam November 9, 2018, 8:33 am

      Please cite the millions of examples you have of gun owners going off and committing murder. Even the FBI had to admit there were in excess of a million defensive gun incidents every year. Anyone who proclaims to be a 2A supporter then goes on to want to restrict gun ownership is a hypocrite.

    • MJB November 9, 2018, 9:26 am

      States should welcome with open arms the law abiding with concealed carry permits. It takes too long for law enforcement to arrive and by the time they do most are dead. Responsible Americans with carry permits could stop these nutcases before multiple people are slaughtered. CC holders need to be looked at as another arm of law enforcement as in a citizen arrest. CA take note.

  • Michael E. Hensley November 9, 2018, 3:12 am

    I am a Cat Lover and Rescuer as well as an AR Lover, But from my experience ” He Is Correct ” and the thing about the correct environment is true as well as it takes about 2 days. But too be honest it does take a bit longer to Purchase an AR, Than 3 Minutes.

    • joefoam November 9, 2018, 8:36 am

      I can walk in to any animal shelter and plunk down my $20.00 and walk out with a dog or cat. No proof of identification, no background check, nothing else. This is as big a lie as Obamas saying it was easier to get a gun than a book.

      • hiplnsdrftr November 9, 2018, 10:57 am

        A shelter is different than a “no kill” cat or dog adoption center. These places do not let just anyone slap down $20 and walk out with an animal. Pet adoption organizations do in fact have a lengthy interview, home visit process that not everyone passes. Often the animals are fostered and trained before they are even considered to be adoptable. I train and foster rescue dogs and can attest to the lengthy tedious process. On the other hand, you can at least initiate the purchase of a firearm in a few minutes on this very website.

    • Kojack November 9, 2018, 2:17 pm

      I’ve walked out of adoption organizations because they told me i needed to drop $200, provide 6 references and do a home check. Jon is a dumb ass for comparing the purchase of an inanimate object to an animal for which you make a life commitment.

  • SuperG November 8, 2018, 11:24 am

    I have to agree with Dr. Motown, in that why would a veterans group invite a known liberal apologist to their event? His ignorance is never ending. I could buy an AR online in 3 minutes too, but I’d still have to travel to the FFL and pass the background check before I could take possession of it. He conveniently omits that part.

    • hiplnsdrftr November 9, 2018, 10:59 am

      Maybe some veteran’s group got sick of hearing jingoistic hogwash from a draft dodger?

  • Dr Motown November 8, 2018, 7:47 am

    11 people just killed in a nightclub in Kommieformia with a handgun…what will Jon Stewart say about that? And what kind of veteran organization would invite this douche to be its headliner?

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