British military explosives experts rushed to the Gloucestershire Royal Hospital, in Gloucester, responding to a call about a patient with what appeared to be a small artillery shell stuck in his rear end. Worried that the shell might be a live explosive, more than just the hospital staff were needed for the safety of everyone involved.
The patient told the hospital staff that he “slipped and fell” on what was later identified as a 57mm anti-tank shell. The six-pounder was inert, although no one could be sure until workers could remove it and safely inspect it.
“He said he put it on the floor then he slipped and fell on it — and it went up his a**e,” one person told the Sun. “He was in a considerable amount of pain. I think he collected military memorabilia.”
According to the patient and others at the incident, the man was clearing out some of his things, setting the shell on the ground, right before taking a tumble on top of it.
Troops from the 11th Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment responded to the call for help. A source with Ministry of Defense said “We can confirm an Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal team was called out to Gloucestershire at the request of local police,” and described the shell as “A solid shot round. It was a chunky, pointed lump of lead designed to rip through a tank’s armor.”
“It was basically an inert lump of metal, so there was no risk to life–at least not to anyone else’s.”
SEE ALSO: ‘Luckiest Man Alive’ Australia Fisherman Survives Crocodile Attack While River Fishing
Carol Cooper, a doctor with the Sun pointed out that the shell was still potentially deadly to the man who brought it to the hospital. If the shell had done much more damage to his internals, it could have killed him.
“The range of objects that are pushed into rectums is incredible, from wine glasses to ketchup bottles and parts of Hoovers,” said Cooper.
“Sadly, it is an everyday occurrence in A&E,” said Cooper, referring to accident and emergency. “But I have never heard of the bomb squad being called out before.”
“As with any incident involving munitions, the relevant safety protocols were followed to ensure there was no risk to patients, staff or visitors at any time,” said a spokesman for the hospital.
I’m sure it was being coated with a corrosion protection gel when he slipped on some of it. 😁
My first thought was damn BlueDog him/dumb , what the hell are you doing ?
I would have started with .17hmr.
You cannot make this sh*t up. Like a few commenters have already stated, one must wonder if this guy really slipped just after he placed that shell on the ground and if he was really clothed and not naked at the same time. Did the shell break right through his clothing? And when you see the picture showing how huge that shell actually is, one cannot imagine the pain this guy must have felt, if he really slipped on it, so that the shell just broke right through his unprepared a**. You know, this is maybe getting ugly, but I have once read an interesting online article about how female pornstars have to prepare their anuses before they can actually engage in an anal scene, so that they are actually ready to endure something like this, as by shooting scenes like those they can earn more money for their “work”. For instance, they have to wear butt plugs for hours, so that the muscles are “prepared”. But this guy had it a lot tougher, because he was, if the story is as true as the media states it to be, not prepared at all. Wow, this is really crazy! Otherwise, many thanks to Mr. Slowik and GunsAmerica for sharing us this hilarious story, because I have literally laughed my own a** off.
Do Gerbil hunts require 57mm non-toxic ammo now?
A Glou’ster bloke was clearing some ammo collection
When he placed a round in an upright direction
It was set upon the floor
But that anti-tank bore
Somehow made an arsehole connection.
hahaha that’s awesome
Did they use forceps or a shell extractor to remove it?
If that didn’t work they always could have used a Ramming Rod from the other end…
Maybe he’ll get a medal for this…The Purple Anus
Did he work his way up from .50BMG?
He wanted a good BANG
Did he go into “shell shock”?
Do not get me started on Limericks!
Oh, go on then.
There was a young lady from Leeds who swallowed a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour her t*ts were in flower and her a*se was full of weeds.
uh……..huh…….. Fell on it. Right.
When I was in the Army, I was afforded a couple-few opportunities allowing me to look at this from different angles.
One was while at 10th Group, up Ft Devens, a kid on a jump landed full-square with his *4th point of contact* on a small pine tree. The DZ crew had to saw the trunk off, un-rig his parachute harness and gingerly hoist him into one of the old *jeep* ambulances for what must have been a crappy ride. As I recall, the extraction was successful however, his being the butt of many jokes was endless.
Without witnesses, many would think his was a bad…. BAD decision on an ill advised fun-nite. “Don’t ask, don’t tell”… the ER crew.
The other is having. a girl friend who would at least once each month regale us with lurid tales (and sometimes… X-rays) of misguided Kentuckians who had chosen to insert size 3 or greater objects in their size 2 or lesser orifices.
Good times!
So anyhow, this guy, unless he was on an airborne operation…. I’ma not buy-in’ it.
Todd.
This here is exactly why I got rid of all my ammo except BBs. Never can be too careful.
Ah yes the old, “I slipped and fell” . At least it wasn’t the old “Prell” bottle. As others have said, we almost all know ER nurses that have great stories about the numerous items found in some asses ass! If it was live and went off it would have blown his brains out, although he obviously had very little to lose. That must have been one lonely idiot!
“Lets see, since Trevor is not around, let me check my collection….303 round…. 8MM, nope. .50BMG…13MM, nope. 20MM anti-aircraft,…nope. What about this 40MM BOFORS…naaaa. Here we go! Anti-tank shell 57MM…perfect! This will hold me until the 105MM dummy round comes from Amazon. If anybody asks, I’ll just tell them I tripped and fell, guvna.”
Just think of how long he jumped up and down doing squats before going to the hospital.
That’s gotta be one for the history books
Maybe he wanted an explosive organism.
Perhaps…it was meant as…”revenge”…____________…
You fill in the blank…
“We Have To Get To The Bottom Of This”
Had a paramedic whose best story ends with the phrase “I was showering along, minding my own business, when I slipped, fell, and sat on a greased lemon.” Looks like we found his cousin in the UK. As Maureen O’Hara once said, “There’s nothing worse than having your personal problems become somebody else’s entertainment.”
Another guy at one of my old shops had a girlfriend who was an RN. She worked in a section of a hospital emergency department nicknamed ‘the butt hut.’ They removed objects from anuses. Per my buddy, the #1 excuse was always that they slipped and fell. Always.
That gives new meaning to having, “explosive diahrrea”! I’m sure it was all an innocent accident.
“Slipped and fell on it.”
That’s what I told my future in-laws when my wife got pregnant.
Rectum, damn near killed him…..
Ii.e.where have they been. This will affect the value of all the items in his collection when people questioned his ‘handling’ of them.
“According to the patient and others at the incident, the man was clearing out some of his things, setting the shell on the ground, right before taking a tumble on top of it.”
Uhh, was he doing this naked? 😂
He “slipped and fell” on it.. rriiiigggghhhttttt…….
Great for carry. Just the right size and weight.
Yeah, right! He fell on it…
Reminds me of a great limerick:
Nymphomaniacal Alice
Once used a dynamite stick as a phallus.
They found her vagina
In South Carolina,
And part of her rectum in Dallas.
That’s great. I finally stopped laughing long enough to reply
It’s more surprising to me that this sort of thing isn’t reported more often in a place like the UK. Cue the drummer!
“Million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.”
Lmao! The exact thing I was thinking when I saw the article.
Well yes. I always take my pants and underware off anytime I set my projectile collection out on the floor for dusting. Dosnt everyone? BTW: that my be an inert training round but the fuze is a live point detonating type. Talk about blowing it out your arse..
Ouch!
Theres a soldier in the grass with a bullet up his………………… I remember hearing kids sing that song 60 plus years ago