What is the biggest existential threat to our society? Nuclear proliferation? Islamic extremism? Heck, global warming?
Nope, guess again.
The correct answer is children with pretend guns. Yup, these pint-sized rapscallions with their make-believe weapons are destroying civilization and everything we hold dear.
An overreaction? I don’t think so. Not if you consider how schools respond to these little cretins.
For example, five-year-old Caitlin Miller was suspended from her Raeford, N.C., school this for holding a stick that faintly resembled a gun.
Caitlin and her friends were playing “king and queen” on the playground and she was charged with protecting the monarchs.
“I was the guard,” Caitlin told WTVD.
Well, to keep the king and queen safe, she grabbed a stick, pretended it was a gun, and used it to thwart off imaginary intruders. A huge no, no on school grounds.
Once school staff learned what she was doing, she was immediately taken off the playground and brought before the principal for punishment.
“One minute she’s playing with her friends and the next her teachers are dragging her to the principal’s office,” her mother, Brandy Miller, told WTVD. “She’s confused. Nobody explained anything to her.”
In a statement, the Hoke County School district said it “will not tolerate assaults, threats or harassment from any student.”
“Any student engaging in such behavior will be removed from the classroom or school environment for as long as is necessary to provide a safe and orderly environment for learning,” the statement continued.
But was she really threatening or assaulting or harassing any other students? Wasn’t she just playing with her friends?
When Brandy told her daughter, “you can’t say you’re going to shoot and kill people.” Little Caitlin looked confused and replied, “I never said that?” according to her mother’s post on Facebook.
In other words, Caitlin is confused as heck about the whole situation. How does one get suspended for playing on a playground?
“She feels like all the teachers hate her,” Miller wrote on Facebook. “I can’t imagine being 5 and feeling that way.”
“Don’t they still make Nerf guns and water guns that kids shoot each other with?” Miller wrote on Facebook. “Don’t kids still play paintball and laser tag? I can see a suspension for an older kid who knows better and who is actually threatening other kids.”
All I can say is that I’m glad those heroic teachers and principals acted in the manner that they did. That little Caitlin and her stick gun are all that is wrong with America. Were she not stopped, only God knows how many pretend bad guys she would’ve kept out of that make-believe kingdom to save the imaginary king and queen. 😉